the remnant of an outlaw. (revised)

maybe you could have told me why
not all my actions have consequences,
and that gravity is just an invisible prison.
or perhaps you could have described to me
how each wrinkle on your face
was actually a scar,
and that time was simply
supplemental to a lacking life.

your fits of anger and tiding rage had reason,
i think, but i suppose
i will never feel that foundation.

they stole your sanity,
and they stole your concern,
and all they left your lonesome self
was a provocation.
subdued and bound in earthly chains
you buried yourself beneath haze,
yet my own memories are not clouded,
not of your view.

i will never know why you saved those years for me
or why i can't let you rest in peace.
the memories continue to loop when i drink
and i begin to realize
i do this more often than i thought.

behind that fragile shell
cased in bigotry and malice
was a man i still have yet to become,
but come soon.

they say your heart faded fourteen years
preceding your body.
i wonder if they will say the same for me.